Anna lives every day the best she can while struggling against the
demons that threaten to consume her and drag her back into the darkness of her
troubled past. The last thing she needs right now is a guy, especially one as
sweet and sexy as Jed.
When the attraction becomes too strong to resist, she gives into it.
Even when she knows it’ll only end in disaster and leave her more her scared
and broken than she was before.
Jed wants to find the right woman and he’s drawn to Anna by carnal
magnetism, but she also brings out an alpha side of him that he’s never known.
When his alpha rears its head, it triggers memories in Anna and her carefully
crafted wall of protection begins to show cracks.
When fate and misunderstandings threaten their already delicate
relationship, can they survive? When Anna’s demons threaten to be unearthed and
Jed’s inner alpha only seem to make them worse, can they overcome?
Is it even worth it?
Excerpt#1:
The Past: Anna
A few weeks later, I approach the lunch table, and
Shannon shouts, “Happy birthday!” I think she enjoys embarrassing me. The smile
on my best friend’s is the only thing that stops me from smacking her.
“Why don’t
you say it a little louder Shan, I don’t think people across the street heard
you,” I mutter as I plop in between her and Jared.
She rolls
her eyes. “Smile, it’s your birthday. You’re not allowed to be grumpy.”
Jared
snakes an arm around my shoulders and pulls me into a half hug and plops his
usual friendly kiss on my head. “Happy birthday, beautiful. How does it feel to
be fifteen like the rest of us?”
“Feels
like any other day. It kinda sucks to be born in the fall though.” I smile up
at him as our hug separates. Until I met Todd, I wanted Jared. He’s sweet and
gorgeous with dark brown hair and matching eyes. My eyes shift and catch his
newest girlfriend scowling at us. A month ago, her presence would be a smack in
the face, a reminder that my feelings weren’t shared. But now I have someone
who does share my feeling.
Thinking
about him, my eyes drift around the cafeteria to see if I can catch a glimpse
of Todd. Even though we’ve officially been dating a month, he still doesn’t
want people to know that we’re together, and that is a little jab to my heart.
I don’t want him to be embarrassed of me, but I try and understand. I want to
make him happy, so I swallow my disappointment.
“Who are you
looking for?” Alison asks. Alison and Aaron, who are dating, are the final two
in my little group of friends. Well, Shannon’s boyfriend too, but he goes to a
different school.
I quickly
bring my attention back to the table because Todd doesn’t even want my friends
to know and I don’t want my wandering eyes to spark questions. “No one.”
“Really,
you looked like you were looking for someone.”
“Nope,” I
say. “So are you guys going to the football game on Friday?” I know I won’t be
able to go because my dad is working, and someone needs to be home with my
sisters, and although Mom will be there, she’ll probably be in her bedroom.
Again.
The
distraction works and they chatter on with their plans for Friday night and no
one is surprised when I say I can’t join them. I zone out until I notice
everyone has stopped talking. When I realize that their eyes are focused behind
me, I look over my shoulder and worry seeps through my veins. Todd stands behind
me with clenched fists and a blank stare that just barely conceals the anger
underneath. My heart races and my palms sweat as my worry turns into panic.
Something is wrong. Very wrong.
“Savannah,”
he says evenly. “Can I talk to you in the hall for a minute?”
I glance
back at my friends who wear matching shocked expressions. When their eyes shift
back to me and I see the questions forming, I stand up and mumble, “I’ll be
right back.”
I start to
follow Todd when Jared puts a hand on my arm stopping me, and I turn to see his
brow furrowed. “You okay?”
I open my
mouth to respond, but Todd interrupts him with a curt “She’s fine. Let’s go,
Savannah.”
My gut is
a jumbled mess, but I give my friends a half smile and turn to follow Todd out
into the hallway.
When the
cafeteria door closes behind me and the two of us are alone, he turns to me and
pushes me against the nearby wall. “What the fuck are you doing? Are you trying
to make me angry?” he hisses and inch from my face.
My eyes
widen and my body electrifies with anxiety. I wrack my brain to figure out what
I did wrong, what I did to make him so angry. My heart races as I stammer out,
“I’m sorry. I…I don’t know what you mean.”
“Why is
that little shit putting his hands on you?”
“Who?
Jared?”
His jaw
clenches and his hand on my arm squeezes tighter, but he says nothing.
“He’s just
my friend. We’ve been friends since middle school,” I rush out. Even though, I
had a crush on Jared since I’ve known him, my feelings for him are nothing
compared to what I’m feeling for Todd.
“If he’s
just a friend, why the fuck did he kiss you?” His eyes flash with anger.
“I…I don’t
know. He’s always done that,” I explain quickly.
“I don’t
like him. I don’t want you hanging around him.”
My face
drops. Jared is my friend and has been for a few years now. I don’t want to
make Todd mad at me, but I don’t want to lose my friends either. “But he’s my
friend.”
“That
little asshole wants in your pants, and I don’t want him anywhere near you.”
My face
flames at the mention of sex. Todd was my first kiss and other than a few make
out sessions, I’ve never done anything more than that. Jared doesn’t see me
that way anyway, so I shake my head. “He doesn’t.”
His hand
grips me harder and I wince. “So you want him, then huh? Is that it?”
“What?!
No!” I guess, on some level it’s a lie, but I’m not pining after Jared
romantically anymore. I have Todd and I care about him. I think I may even love
him, so I don’t want him to think that I want Jared. He might leave me and that
thought makes me tense and scared.
“You
sure?” he asks, his face softening a little making the stiffness in my body
begin to melt away.
“Yeah, I
only care about you,” I reply softly.
He rewards
me with a gorgeous smile and my body relaxes completely when he envelops me in
his arms and presses his lips on top my head. He keeps them there for a few
beats allowing contentment to settle over me.
“I think
you should prove it,” he mumbles against my head.
Excerpt #2
The Present: Jed’s POV
It’s Wednesday now, and I’m
watching something stupid on TV. Well, I’m not really paying attention to the
TV. My focus is on Anna who is curled up next to me, studying some papers. It’s
fascinating to watch her study. She chews on her thumb, tucks a pencil behind
her ear, and her beautiful blue eyes skim across the page. Every so often, her
eyes will narrow in concentration and she’ll pull the pencil out and jot
something down or underline something. Then she’ll twirl the end of the pencil
in between her plump, lush, pink lips. That’s when I redirect my attention back
to the TV, so I’m not tempted to rip the papers out of her hands and replace
the pencil with my tongue. I try to discretely adjust myself, and try and fail
to get the image of her lips wrapped around the pencil out of my head, or
around my cock… Shit!
When I glance back down, she’s
out and I inwardly chuckle. Here I am imagining my cock in her mouth and she’s
so tired, she passed out mid-study against me. I’m glad she’s getting a little
rest though, and I take the opportunity to drink her in. She’d probably be
embarrassed that I’m studying her right now. Her cheek is kind of squished, and
her mouth is parted a little more than normal, she’s beautiful. I take my
finger and gently, so I don’t wake her, trace the line of her jaw and the curve
of her nose. I run my finger along her eyebrows and my dick stirs when my
finger travels across those full pouty lips.
Her brow furrows and she frowns,
and my lips tip down too. Huh. I wonder
what she’s dreaming about.
Her body tenses into a ridged
plank and her face crumples. She looks like she’s in pain and maybe
embarrassed. Jesus, what the fuck?
“Um…Anna,” I whisper.
“Sthooooppp. Wahda ya doin?” she
sobs whispering.
What the hell needs to stop? What the hell is she dreaming about? I’m starting to panic. Should I
try and wake her up? You’re not supposed to wake people up or they’ll go on a
murdering spree or something, right? Wait, no, that’s sleepwalking. I should
try and wake her.
“Anna,” I say a little louder
and give her shoulder a little shake.
Her face contorts in agony and
whispers, “Ged offa me.”
My stomach drops and my jaw
clenches. Get off of me? Christ, I
need to wake her up, get her out of whatever hell she’s in.
“Anna,” I say louder and shake
her shoulder a little harder.
“Pllleeeaassse sllopp,” she
whispers, and then starts to sob tearlessly and nearly silently.
Oh, fuck. I’m freaking the fuck
out because I’m almost positive she’s dreaming about rape or something just as
shitty. I want to jump in her head and bash the shit out of her dream attacker.
I feel helpless, and I hate it.
“Anna!” I yell and shake her
hard.
Her frantic eyes pop open, and
she sits up so fast that she almost knocks me off the couch, her wild eyes
searching the room.
“Are you okay, baby?” I ask and
I’m sure the horror and concern are all over my face.
She finally stops her frantic
searching and when her eyes meet mine, her face falls and ducks her head,
squeezing her eyes closed tighly. That’s the moment I know. I know this wasn’t
just a dream. It was a memory, and it was exactly what I thought it was. I swallow
thickly, and try not to show an ounce of my rising anger because I don’t want
to scare her. I need to comfort her and make sure she knows that she’s safe.
“Hey,” I start softly. “You’re
okay, I’m right here.”
“I should go.”
Wait. What?!
“I have school in the morning
and you have work and it’s getting late, sorry I passed out,” she says and
lifts off the couch. She moves to the chair where her coat and school bag are
and starts shoving everything in.
It takes me a moment to recover
from the shock. This is not the reaction I was expecting.
“Don’t go right now. Talk to
me.” I stand up and approach her carefully.
She plasters a fake smile on her
face, but I can see the panic behind it. It’s rising, and I can see her hands
shake as she puts on her coat. Ah, shit.
I’m trying to tamp down the urge to physically keep her here, but I also can’t
have her take off in the state she’s in right now.
She smiles a wobbly smile, and I
can see tears forming in her eyes. “Nothing to talk about, but I should get
going.”
I can’t let her run from me. Not
like this, not right now. “You’re staying. Talk to me.”
She clenches her jaw and won’t
look at me, but continues to put on her coat and gather her things.
“You talk in your sleep.”
She freezes and turns slowly to
look at me. Her face is full of pain, embarrassment, and regret. She opens her
mouth to say something, but then quickly closes it and I see the tears well up
again. She swallows thickly and I can tell that she’s trying with everything
she has not to cry.
“Talk to me. What happened?”
She shakes her heads with a tiny
jerk. “I’ve got to go.” Before I can stop her, she flies out the door.
Shit.
I throw on shoes, grab my keys, and rush out the door. She’s sprinting toward
her car, but I’m close behind her.
Fuck, it’s cold out here. I
forgot my jacket.
I reach her car a few seconds
after she closes the door, and I knock on the window.
Her head is buried in her hands,
and when she finally looks up at me, her face is tearstained. She looks so
tortured and the thought of something happening to her is tearing me up. I’m
fighting against my conflicting emotions—need to comfort her and rage towards
whoever did this to her.
I open the door and kneel down
in front of her. I reach out to wipe away a falling tear. “Let me in.”
She squeezes her eyes closed
tight, and then gives a jerky shake of her head. “I can’t.”
I take her face in my hands and
lean in close. She needs to open up. I
need her to open up. “Did someone hurt you?”
I can feel her jaw clench under
my hands. She looks scared and hurt, but I can also see the shutters slam down
like a steal door. “I’m sorry, Jed, but I need to go,” she says in a quiet,
even voice.
She reaches for the door handle,
but I grab her hand a little too hard. “You-” I start to say but when her eyes
widen in terror, the words die in my throat. I drop her hand quickly and my
mind starts spinning.
She shakes her head, and her
face turns blank. “I need to go.”
I’m so shocked that I stand up
and step back and she closes her door, starts the engine, and drives off. The
whole time I just stand and stare. I know it’s fucking freezing out here, but I
don’t feel a thing. As her taillights disappear, I come out of my daze and I
want to punch something. What the fuck
just happened? And why is this girl trying to drive out of my life? I
thought we were finally getting somewhere. She said on Saturday that she’d open
up to me one day, and tonight was a perfect opportunity. Instead, she ran. I’m
trying to understand that she’s scared and she panicked, but I’m pissed that she
wouldn’t unload on me when I’ve been telling and showing her that I’m here for
her, that she can come to me. God-fucking-dammit.
My patience is wearing thin. I know she cares about me, and God help
me, I’m not letting her go. She might be broken, but I’ll help her put herself
back together if it’s the last thing I do.
Author Bio
Nicki DeStasi, Author
Nicki DeStasi was raised in a small town in Massachusetts. She attended Fitchburg State College and studied Early Childhood Education. As a child, she enjoyed reading, but only recently began doing it again. She has always had an inventive imagination and finally decided to put those ideas on paper for others to enjoy. Worth It will be Nicki’s first self-published book. A few personal facts: Sloth from The Goonies is her third cousin, she acted and stared in several plays throughout high school and college, and she can play four different instruments. Nicki’s philosophy is to appreciate the good things in life. If we didn’t make mistakes and have bad things happen then we wouldn’t know how truly wonderful the good things are. No matter how difficult life is sometimes, if we look to the people that love us, then we can get through them and on to the good stuff.
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